Don’t talk about yourself like that!
Self-Speak
Many people talk to and about themselves far worse than any villain ever could.
This is called negative self-speech, and it is often delivered in self-deprecating humor. It also can include the inability to accept a compliment and constant comparisons to others perceived to embody or possess traits we value.
I have met people who, when asked what their best trait is, couldn’t answer, or if they did answer, the response was fraught with either minimizing the trait or listing out other negative traits.
How do we fix this?
I like to ask people how they would talk about their favorite person. When they start talking about that person, it is from a love, grace, and kindness mindset. Why don’t we talk about ourselves the same way? In human services, we are trained to use a strength-based approach when working with people. Why wouldn’t we use the same idea when we problem-solve, goal plan, or even talk about ourselves?
I notice this even in wellness and life-coach spaces. We are so quick to want the solution to the undesirable traits, habits, or symptoms we have that we don’t stop to think about what damage we do to ourselves by not starting from a positive stance.
